This is how it started.......

        Before anything else... This is Nathaniel Laron, I called him "Natnat" for a change! :p Why him? hmmppppp... Well, what I really want to write is about my happiness that I'm feeling right now, how glad I am and who makes me feel this way, but does this person cause this? Hell NO.. haha :)) well, at some point yes, because of him, I learned, I grew up (partially), I woke up from my mistakes! Crazy isn't it? Let me tell something how that happened...

       He is an old friend of my ex-boyfriend Joe Albert Villaester, we're not that really close. I knew him, he knew me, we never talked just hi, hello, few laughter together, and that's it. Til' one day, when me and Joe broke up, I decided to have the sympathy of his friends.. You know how a broken-hearted people thinks, then Natnat chatted me asking me to 'like' his band page "lunchbox"? i think!. An idea pop-up to my mind and said ok, I wanna be close to him, date him so that if Joe sees us together, he will be angry to death (well, my idea stinks haha). I was chatting with him, asking what he likes blah blah blah, getting to know each other, asking questions, etc etc.. That was crazy, I said to myself, but I can't help it. That time I just want to see Joe's mad face wanted to kill me! That was my plan, clear, perfect, unstoppable, a perfect revenge.. 

      Things get along well with us, we talked, shared interests, joke, exchange numbers. Everything was perfect and smooth til' we came into the part of "the plan".. I'm so mad to my ex and i told him how angry I am and I'm kind of planning into something.. Instead of forcing me, he told me to just let them go, ignore them, live my own life, get new hobbies, forgive and forget..  Everytime I visited his wall, I always saw god's message and this made me subscribe to that stuff.. While reading the message day by day, there's this one message saying "let god do the judgement".. and "the truth will be told".. and everyday, new inspiring messages are coming which changed me and a supposedly "bad plan" of mine. Then later on, I decided 'I should focus on new things, explore, meet new people rather than this, what I'm doing right now'... So, I changed my mind and just forget what I wanted to do with Natnat and was laughing of the crazy thought that I had in mind.. <peace Natnat.. haha!>

        Now I'm thankful that he's my friend and what he said was truly grateful.. He's a true pal, and I can count on him even if time didn't permit us to do more bonding together..He knew what he did to me, seemed nothing  to him but it helps me a lot... pssssssstttt! secret nlang nten un.. haha :D Alam ko matatawa yun pag nabasa nya to :p..  la lang.. feel ko lang! But thanks Natnat, because of you, because of what you said, I met my other half ♥♥♥ JULIUS OLIVER NICOLAS... 

        Thank you my friend!! Godbless you always.. Hope maging close narin kayo ni crush mo.. :p

Reminiscing... :(

Forget him!! that's what my mind yells, and yet I still can't survive the fact that I'm always reminiscing the memories that I had with him.. He got it all, and now nothing left.. as in nothing.. :( I'm trying my best to focus on other things and other person as well, but everytime I took a glance at our picture, everything changes.. I still have pictures of him in my fb account and I always look at it.. :( Honestly, until now, I'm into him.. :( I knew he love me so much, but he's into the situation where he can't go out.. ;( Everybody knew how we love each other so much!! And everyone was expecting us to be together, for real.. But "happy story" has an ending, and I can't accept how it ends.. how my world crash into pieces.. I love him so much!! :( god knows how much I love him.. I'm just fooling myself and everybody that I'm not in-love with him but yes, I still do.. Most of the time, I kept stalking on their account curiously asking myself how are they and does he love her the way he did to me?? I knew deep inside he still misses me.. Because what we had was splendid, an extraordinary experience that I'm very proud of! He was my soul-mate, half of my heart, and my soul... I'm like crazy, pretending that I'm ok but not.. How I wish he was here beside me, I miss how he hugged me and how he called me "bibo" :( I want to cry, cry so hard til' I release everything at one time.. All I want is him, only him :( God knows how sorry I am for everything I did and I'm thinking sometimes to forgive him for everything if he decided to come back.. But I think it's too late.. He got his new girl now and for me, I have nothing.. I don't know if I can able to love again just as how I love him.. I don't know how I will release the pain.. sometimes, I just want to die :( I'm trying to be strong but there are times where I can't go on anymore..  If god can hear me right now, I will ask him if I can hold him one last time.. If I only have one wish, one wish, I will go back to the time when I met him and I will never let him go!! :( How I wish it was all just a dream.. that tomorrow, when i wake up, I'm right beside him again, happy, contented and forever in-love :((

my first blog :)

hmmmppppp wat can i say?? well im a new blogger here!! :) hehe.. a friend told me he was into blogging so i decided why not get into it also.. why? to forget all those bad memories between me and my ex, yeah u heard it right.. akala ko kc kami na, well akala ko lang, and akala naming lhat!! pero hindi pla.. i wasted time, money, effort, tears, myself pero wala din pla.. kea eto nghahanap ako ng mapaglilibangan.. sinusunod ko lhat ng advice ng lhat sakin, i was like stupid doing these and that, talking with anyone just to ease the pain that i felt inside.. pero sa twing naiisip ko parin un, msakit.. ansakit pla matwo time.. gawain ko kc un eh, and now sakin gnwa, aun, pak... feel na feel ko.. well infairness nman di nman ako as in naloka sa mga eksena kc malakas ung self control ko,, in short mataas ang EI ko.. haha ^^, im living a normal life despite the fact that an asshole almost tear my world apart... pero asa xa, dhil eto ako naun chill lang.. nammis ko xa pero he's not worth my tears.. a guy like him doesn't deserve a single tear from a wholehearted girl.. nagmamahal ako ng totoo pero hindi ako tanga, that not defines me.. cguro wat happen to me right now was a "karma" from the past and i have to accept my faith.. sabe nga ni nat "kaya may nwawala kc may darating na mas better".. un nlang ung pinanghahawakan ko now, na dumating ung "the one". and if ung the one na un anjan na, diko na xa pkkwalan.. il kip him with me 4ever :-* that's all!! nothing to say........ 

--hey nat basahin mo!! haha kung anu2x nlang sinulat ko dto :p